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Read on for ways to manage your relationship with someone whose ancestry is of Arabic origins.

As far as I can tell, that means you’re “really white.” Strap yourself in for the ride. And though you are George Clooney, you will not be immune to this phenomenon. Lebanon is a beautiful country and you will have a great time. I would go to a few to observe the spectacle firsthand before your big day. بس منلفظ ال “ج” بطريقة تانية، متل ال “ج” في كلمة “beige” بالانجليزي. ومش راح تكونوا اول عرسان الي اساميهم “جورج وامل” كمان. Some of the women who write are working in Kuwait and dating a Kuwaiti. And during this time you’re expected to call him (though he’s not going to answer) and send endless text messages. Don’t ask me how, but Arab men are masters at turning things around. it’s ‘disrespectful’ and you’ll be accused of behaving like a man. If he’s not comfortable with your answers he’ll simply drive you himself. Some are living in their home country but having an online relationship with an Arab man living in his. If you don’t then he’s going to accuse you of talking to other men during this time. Regardless of what he does and how bad it really is, you’re eventually going to find yourself doing the apologizing. You’re marrying Amal Alamuddin, an international award-winning barrister (for us Americans, “barrister” means lawyer, but I wrote “barrister” because it just sounds so much cooler). Yes, you are not currently an Arab, but you will become one soon enough. She’s marrying wasn’t your proudest moment, but you know what I mean.) At the wedding, the size of your family will immediately grow a hundred times over. واللبنانية بذات فخورين بجذورهم اكتر وزيادة شوي عن اللزوم. بس الافلام مرات بتيجي على العالم العربي متأخرة شوي، فما تستغربش اذا واحد عربي بقللك: “حبيتك كتير في Ocean’s Eleven.” يمكن ما عندوش خبر اصلا انو طلعت “Ocean’s Twelve” و “Ocean’s Thirteen.” وبما انو في مناطق في بيروت احلى من اي مكان في العالم، ما تفاجئ اذا معظمها مبينة كانها تقصفت امبارح. وانت كمان راح تتجوز محامية دولية مثلت ملوك ونصحت امناء العام. راح تتعلم كتير عن تاريخ وسياسة العرب خلال اخر مية سنة. و فش موضوع منحب نحكي عنو اكتر من القانون الدولي وقد ما هو صلو عم بخوننا من… وعلى فكرة، لانك راح تتجوز عربية بتدافع عن حقوق العرب، اذا كنت مفكر تكون مرشح لاي درجة سياسية في اميركا، انسى الموضوع، الا اذا طبعا نقلت على مدينة ديربورن في ولاية ميشغان. CNN has called her “discreet.” It looks like you found the only Arab woman who wouldn’t blab to the whole world that she is dating George Clooney. I do have some words of advice for you, from one Arab guy to another soon-to-be Arab guy. But this Arab daughter is marrying freakin’ George Clooney! بس انت مش عم تتجوز اي واحدة عربية، لا، عم تتجوز خبيرة في القانون الدولي. عرسك يمكن بخلي “My Big Fat Greek Wedding” تشبه مناسبة خاصة. اذا قدرت تكسب صبية عربية ناجحة وذكية ورشيقة ودولية ومميلة وبتتكلم عدة لغات… It does not include works written using the Arabic alphabet but not in the Arabic language such as Persian and Urdu literature.